Christmas is over, you’ve managed to fight the temptation to throw your Uncle Paul through the patio doors over that argument you had in 1997 that you never quite found closure on. Meanwhile in news-land there’s mysterious drones/orbs floating over New Jersey and Trump is about to invade Canada.

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FESTIVE TIME! And it's Christmas Peerages all round for Keir Starmer and Kemi Badenoch. Meanwhile GB News is sacking all its "talent". ALSO: A German woman murders her doppleganger to fake her own death.

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The next five years are going to be terrible. Let’s talk about that. Meanwhile Prince Andrew has embarrassed another of his close friends. AND PornHub is about to be banned in Florida. Thank God they solved the most pressing issue in Child Safety.

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On tonight's Friday night live show, we look at the criticism "THUH LEFT!" get for not crying when a NYC CEO got shot and a man who got exonerated and let out of jail after 24 years - getting a $4m settlement from the City - is on his way back there for murder again.

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Sir Keir Starmer is out trying to fill an E.U. shaped trade-hole with rapists and murderers. Meanwhile could Luigi Mangione get off the murder charge by running for President? ALSO: my (probably Autistic) Dad visited.

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Private healthcare CEOs are getting murdered. Sir Keir Starmer remains underwhelming and unaware that unless he goes bold he’ll be out in four years and this’ll all have just been a very brief holiday from Tory Corruption. South Korea’s nuts. Syria's kicking off. And a Florida Teacher got caught having a one man “freak-off” in an elementary school.

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Gregg Wallace is on Day whatever the fuck it is of his tabloid mauling. We take a look at some of the feminists of convenience who suddenly care about workplace respect. Meanwhile a shamed and bankrupted American energy institution make their comeback. And why not.

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Matt Gaetz is on Cameo. Kate Nash is selling pics of her arse to pay for her music/tour. Keir Starmer is pretending to hate immigration... and MORE!

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Tonight we look at Labour's press treatment, Benji's ICC arrest warrant and Italy's offer to come move there for ONE EURO.

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The kids have been sick, Tan got some shit from the Canary and newspapers appear to have run out of news.

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